Sunday, September 20, 2015

Shopping Socialization - I Don't!

Can you relate?!

When I go shopping I don't talk to people. I'm on a mission with my best resting bitch face on. While people are socializing in the fruit section I'm mentally lobbying with politicians and big-box companies. I've been asked before "Sarah, why don't you like to talk to people when you shop?" 

To answer this question let's use this morning, for example... I'm walking through the grocery store for a few staples.

*24 ounces of brown shaded, artificially flavored high fructose corn syrup and sugar concoction = $2.80 on sale for $2.49.
Or
8 ounces of pure maple syrup = $6.90 on sale for $4.99.
*1 loaf of organic, preservative free natural multi-grain bread = $6.80 on sale for $5.99.
Or
1 loaf of enriched white sandwich bread = $0.89.
*1 64 ounce bottle of 100% not from concentrate fruit juice = $4.80 on sale for $3.99.
Or
1 box of 10 sugary, fake juice, fun squeezable drink pouches = $2.
*1 preservative-free package of fresh pasta (of course you will need to purchase something to flavor it) = $4.60. 
Or
1 package of dried soup noodles with MSG fake flavoring to infuse it with = 5/$1.
*4 sticks of real unsalted butter = $3.40 on sale for $3.29.
1 giant tub of artificial spread = $3.60 on sale for $2.99.

I hear someone who resembles a manager comment to a customer that it's an enigma how someone on food stamps could manage to be so obese and they sarcastically joke that they will be paying for their healthcare benefits too. Mention how it must be nice to have free money to waste on junk food, like "those people" do.

Makes me want to grab my itty bitty overpriced glass jar of "product of Canada" maple syrup and hit him on the head with it in hopes it knocks some sense into him. I didn't, but I would be lying if I said the image never came to mind. I rant internally... "All these exercise, school and positive reinforcement preventative health programs designed for our "war on obesity" and the low-hanging fruit seems to be adjusting prices to make healthier food options just that... Realistic options."

So... this is why I don't socialize in the grocery store. It's honestly in everyone's best interest. An innocent , "hi, how are you" will undoubtably end with me standing on the check out counter passionately leading the rebellion in protest.

End ramble. Carry-on.