PERCEPTION IS REALITY.
In my previous career I led a lot of meetings. A lot of them. Along with these meetings were a lot of ice breakers and grabbers. There was one in particular that really stood out to me:
Everyone gets a sheet of paper. On the sheet of paper. I am going to say four different words. For each word I say, draw a picture of what comes to mind. When we are finished, everyone will share what they sketched.
Play... Open... Safe... Funky
I would ask the each person, "What did you draw for the word play?"
Some would draw theatre masks, others a ball and a bat...
"And open?"... minds, arms, heart, doors...
"Safe?"... the literal: a safe, an arm's embrace, a home...
"Funky?"... a hippie, music, a chicken...
The point... yes, they are all the same words, but we all have different life experiences. When you put the two together, you get perception. While your reality of safe is a cold locked box, to me it might be an arm's embrace. Misunderstanding and our lack of validating the perception others have of us leads to conflict and to broken trust...
How many times have you said, "That's not what I meant by that." A lot a bet.
Regardless of how you meant it, that's how it was translated, and that's what you said.
Be willing to take feedback and to be warm when others are disgruntled with you. Is it always your problem? Yes, it is. There is always a way to prevent internal conflict! The best place to start is by treating everyone the way THEY want to be treated, not how YOU want to be treated!
Abraham Lincoln says it best: "I don't like him. I need to get to know him better!"
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